STEVE N ALLEN: Putting health warnings on every cigarette is like burning money

I have never smoked. I may have tried it a few times in college, but I didn’t continue, much like watching movies with subtitles and eating pot noodles.

My mom used to smoke and I feel like the health costs caught up with her towards the end, which convinced me that it’s a bad habit. Usually when someone comes up with a plan to get people to quit smoking, I’m in favor of it, but there’s a new plan I’m less sure about.

Conservative Lord George Young wants to introduce a private member’s bill to put health warnings on every cigarette, not just on packages. Let me go over the reasons why I think this is unnecessary.

Everyone already knows that smoking is bad for your health. If you stopped smokers on the street, or more likely outside a pub on the street, you wouldn’t find anyone who hadn’t at least heard a rumor. No one is going to read the side of their cigarette and scream, “Why didn’t anyone mention this?

If anyone has read that smoking kills on the pack, I don’t think they will have forgotten it by the time it turns on. I know that smoking is bad for a lot of health issues, but I don’t think it kills your short term memory as much.

Maybe I’m getting old, but I wouldn’t be able to read the handwriting on anything that comes out of my mouth. Good luck that smokers always wear their reading glasses.

People will get used to all the warnings. I was standing in line behind a woman in a gas garage last week. When she was handed her cigarettes, she looked at them and said to the cashier, “Oh, that’s a nice photo on this one. I don’t know if you had the photo of the lungs, liver, or toes, but she didn’t mind.

Burning the warning written on the side of the cigarette will become symbolic and may make smokers more determined to continue. It’s similar to the Friends episode where they burn things from their ex-boyfriends.

When you smoke you breathe in an array of nasty chemicals, and the thought of adding all the compounds created when the ink burns makes it seem like a step in the wrong direction.

We better make one in 1,000 cigarettes a joke cigarette that explodes like you would see in the Tom and Jerry cartoons. Or print Ollie Robinson tweets on the side of the cigarettes. No one would want to be seen with them if they wanted to keep their jobs.

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