What did they do to James Bond?

Spoiler alert: James Bond is dead.

You read correctly. In the latest outing of cinema’s greatest super-spy, ‘No Time To Die’, 007 dies when missiles rain down on the island lair of an evil villain who has invented a high-tech virus that threatens the entire world. humanity.

After dispatching the villain, James Bond fails to leave the island before a missile attack intended to destroy the virus. There was no Roger Moore double meaning before a makeup session with the latest Bond girl, a jazzy theme song blaring as the credits roll.

Instead, there’s sad music and a dark gathering where Miss Moneypenny, Q and M commemorate their secret agent pal. I guess there’s no escaping the modern Hollywood idea of ​​escapism.

To add insult to injury, James Bond discovers during the film that he fathered a child with an old flame. It’s true: 007 is now a deadbeat dad.

When the latest incarnation of James Bond debuted around 15 years ago, the filmmakers promised a more realistic approach after the series got more fantastical from film to film, and 007 wouldn’t be a pig anymore. neither is it sexist. As a die-hard fan, a 21st century James Bond movie sounded good to me.

I understand. Those old movies starring Sean Connery are painfully outdated in many ways. Heck, in the first film in the series, “Dr. No”, Connery’s Bond wears a felt hat. Now I don’t know much about fashion, but I know felt hats went out of fashion because President John F. Kennedy didn’t wear them (He was president 60 years ago, by the way.)

I understand that change can be a good thing, but a big part of the appeal of James Bond for many fans, myself included, is the nostalgia that one of these older movies can provide. Classic cars, giant lugs, dated music – these are the things that make James Bond movies so fun.

However, there isn’t much room for realism in most other film franchises. Lois Lane is the Daily Planet’s top reporter, but for some reason she fails to recognize that Superman is just Clark Kent with contact lenses, a flashy outfit, and a new hairstyle.

And Batman may be able to constantly elude the Gotham City police, but there’s no way he’ll be one step ahead of all the civil litigation from personal injury attorneys representing the petty criminals out there. he beat.

Yeah, so James Bond is dead. But I’m not too broken about it. In pure Hollywood tradition, four words appeared at the end of the closing credits of the last film that lifted my spirits: JAMES BOND WILL RETURN.

Mark Birdsall is an editor at the Huron Daily Tribune. Email him at [email protected] Follow him on Twitter at @MarkEBirdsall.

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